this could be anything

my head told my heart “let love grow” but my heart told my head “this time no”

For some reason, this whole week has been threatening to get drowned by this, um, wave of self-doubt.

May have something to do with not making it through an audition that I really wanted, and also M being gone for reservist the whole week (even the weekend! Awful). It’s funny how you’re really confronted with yourself once you have all the usual distractions of work, retail therapy (yes, I’m trying to be good), husbandly company and food (unhealthy makes me happy, but unhealthy also means sore throat) removed.

Having to deal with change in lifestyle, pace, comfort zone (or lack of!) has been pretty painful and also quite a shock to the system, but I can only hope it’ll help me grow. And one day I’ll look back at this time and understand why.

For now, there’s a new musical theatre course to look forward to tomorrow – it’s the first class and I’m actually really nervous.

I’m holding this quote near to my heart :


(via design*sponge)


2 thoughts on “my head told my heart “let love grow” but my heart told my head “this time no”

  1. wl says:

    aiya, these things happen sometimes… though as difficult as it is (and as easy it is for me to say), it is part of the learning and growing process. don’t let it pull you down for far too long for you have lots of other things and new challenges to look forward to like that musical theatre course for instance. good luck !

    • theletterzee says:

      Thanks for the encouragement babe. Yes I am aware it’s part of the process :-) and it’s just cathartic to write it out really.

      I think the hardest part isn’t the rejection but rather the being confronted with how you really feel and having to really address it (not having any “crutches” to resort to). That’s been the shock for me. Heh.

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