this could be anything

moulting.

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Why, hello there! It’s been a long while.

So I was stopped in my tracks by this amusing sight one sunny Sunday afternoon, outside Marina Square.

Just this lone pigeon, peacefully pottering down an empty corridor. An odd pigeon strolling through life.

I have been gone for a year now, chiefly dealing with life and work and its many roller-coasters. Much has happened. My absence coincided with a need to disappear into the seams of my life, to privately deal with the stuff that was impossible to articulate or share publicly.

You see, M and I decided peaceably to go our separate ways. We are still friends, but we are no longer together. We are both fine, in the bigger scheme of things, and healing in our own time.

On top of that, 2015 has been pretty rewarding work-wise, with many new challenges and opportunities to be thankful for. Projects like Checkpoint Theatre’s “Normal”, or The Studios : fifty’s “Selected Works of Tan Tarn How”, or doing a voice-over for a children’s animated series, or being drenched for 7 hours straight for a TVC shoot. You get put in front of this crazy challenge, and each time you go “Oh fuck I have never done this before, will I be able to do this?”, and then somehow you do. With varying degrees of success, but you do your very best, and you learn your inner critic is the one you need to please; not anybody else.

Despite these projects, there have been typical freelancer-style nail biting moments of “will I get work this month?”, but I have more often than not heaved a sigh of relief because some small (but no less treasured) job comes along and stacks upon the others and tides me through the month.

… And I turned 30 this August. 30 used to scare me but now I’m glad I can claim that age. To validly own its weight and its heft. Was it Anna Kendrick who said something like, “I love turning 30 because I feel in your 20s you stay out late and you kinda feel you have to. But now I can say, I’m 30 dammit and I’m heading home at 11 to kick off my heels, snuggle under a blanket and watch a TV show.” Yah.

So yeah. Here I am. Doing this thing. This theatre thing; this life thing; this new beginnings thing. And it’s scary, joyful, heartbreaking, uncertain. And I’m feeling everything keenly. Soaking it up.

And hey, thank you for sticking around ;) I treasure the company.

p.s. I am planning to continue writing here instead; I’d love it if you would join me there.

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this could be anything

a wise man* once said, “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.”

I like how serenely this girl watches us, with that little half-smile and a bird perched on her shoulder.

(Plus, I’m dying to have her dress.)

Hello! How’ve you been? It’s been so long since I checked in, I’m sorry about that.

After I came back from New York, I harboured this crazy desire to return sooner than later. I just wanted so badly to be back in New York, for a variety of reasons. And somehow in the weeks after I returned, things lined up such that it actually became possible financially and logistically to do so, in October! :)

The main reason I’m headed back there is to pursue intensive singing lessons with a wonderful teacher by the name of Jeff Stanfill, whom I adore. I met him during my trip in June, introduced by a couple of teachers I have here in Singapore. Two lessons with him, and I knew we’d found something here, together… something that could be so helpful to my growth. (I’ve been feeling like I’m struggling to get across the “hump” with my singing for some time now!)

The other (also main) reason is to get away from it all, and recharge my acting / singing mojo. This year’s been tough – I really appreciate being given the chance to audition, but rejection does wear you down over time, try as you may to stay strong :) I made the decision to go to NY at a rather low point, and it’s given me something to look forward to as I recalibrate, even in the months leading up to it, my attitude on this life-long journey :)

I’m still working on the “let it go, let it be” thing. In the meantime, it’s lots of freelance branding work to finance the NY trip, rehearsals for my next show in September, and auditions here and there.

Oh, and I turned 29 yesterday! It feels funny to be 29. I just feel like I have to be even more grown-up than I am now, or something. But boy am I happy to have my twin with me in Singapore to celebrate with :) Finally! After many years, we are united again at birthday-time. Ah. All is as it should be.

M and Yibs decided to surprise me with go-karting – which was another post for another day. SO FUN. (Also, I thought I was going to die.)

Have a lovely week ahead x

(Etsy print, from IrenaSophia)

*Steve Jobs was said wise man.

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this could be anything
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